Voices from PEN/Faulkner Interns: Anique Jones

This fall, PEN/Faulkner had the privilege of being joined by three amazing interns. Before they left us, they each wrote essays inspired by their time in the organization. It’s our honor to share them with you, starting with this piece by Anique Jones:


A small bookstore sits between a chic & casual wine bar and Turkish café in the entrance of Georgetown. It’s atypical. There aren’t defined rows or a plethora of subjects to choose from. There are two floors, the second smaller than the one below it. It looks like a generational town-home; smells of old wood, paper, adhesive, and ink; and seems as if it had its furniture removed to accommodate a lifelong worth of wisdom. There I stand in front of a glass window that emanates a peaceful aura, looking at an elderly couple take their glasses off and put them back on to read the premises of books. In that moment it seems as if a distinct world exists behind the window, a world that escaped from a pretentious neighborhood dripping in name brands. The fluorescent store sign calls my name and, before I kn0w it, I am on the top floor with Pema Chödrön’s Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change in my hand.  

I flip to a random page and start reading. 

“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment.” 

Pause. What? I slide the book back into the middle of the stack. I circulate the mom-and-pop shop two, even three, times. 

*  *  *

I ended up in the same spot with the same book in my hand. Ten minutes later, I was handing the girl at the registerwho had a soothing voice, wavy brown hair, and angelic facial featuresa $20 bill.

In that moment I posed this question: How can it be possible for one to lead a beautiful life in the midst of uncertainty and change?

As I stood with the book in my hand, I entered into a period of reflection. My thoughts ruminated. It was almost as if I was looking for a definitive answer to tell me what was beautiful about a life absent of certainty and thrilled for change. In the course of my life, all I had ever experienced were the negative effects of uncertainty. As for change, that was always a complex process I had to grapple with. So, was Chödrön telling me that there was an answer to fix the troubling emotions that came with uncertainty and change, like a textbook solution or a definition to a word?

Hadn’t I just spent the entire summer meditating on books that spoke of the importance of remaining grounded in the most difficult of times, that taught me the meaning of joy, and that championed peaceful living? Hadn’t I been living alone in a studio apartment in Foggy Bottom trying to find my happy place, teaching myself how to fight destructive emotions that plagued me?  So, now, was this all wrong? I was supposed to not fight? And not remain grounded but ease into every single one of my feelings?


Plot twist. You thought I was going to say the exact opposite of what I just said; that I was going to put up a fight against the concept of Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change, but I have done neither. 


Because it was in that moment of contemplation that I was able to piece my questions and thoughts together. I realized that the decisions I have made throughout my lifetime have dictated my future, but they were all made with a leap of good faith. When I applied to ten-plus colleges, did I know which one I was going to choose? Did I know whether or not George Washington University was a good fit for me? Was I really prepared to leave my family and New Jersey behind? Could I have ever predicted that the major I intended on pursuing my degree in would change within the course of my first semester? The answer is no, no, and no.

This blog post hasn’t been written for me to thoroughly analyze all of the above. Rather, I have been interested in shedding light on a topic that perpetuates in society: that the human experience pits individuals against themselves. We live this life wanting to be certain about every decision we make: love, family, career. But the groundbreaking truth is that we will never know whether X decision was right until we have gone through the experience. Maybe it will take more than these words for that to sink in. That is okay. However, I must say that if you stop and think for one moment about your greatest life experiences and lessons, you will find how that is true.

If I had not looked through that glass window, I may have never discovered that the beauty in life rests in uncertainty, change, and the pursuit of happiness. If one thing is certain, it is that those three concepts are inevitable to the human condition. As I closed the book after reading the last page, the glass window was no longer the one from Georgetown. It was a mirror.

Giving Tuesday, December 3

At PEN/Faulkner, we’re excited about the work we do in our local community. In the last year, we gave free books and author visits to thousands of DC students, and we brought dozens of major authors to our city to inspire critical conversations. We need you to keep that momentum going. Our goal is to raise $10,000 to support our Writers in Schools program and our Literary Conversations series.

The holiday season is fast approaching. Just after Thanksgiving, people around the world will make a huge impact by participating in Giving Tuesday, a global day of giving back. We invite you kick off this season of generosity strong by helping us keep making a difference in DC. You can donate directly, or you can set up your own fundraising page and reach out to your network yourself.

Your support makes a big impact. Even $15 on Giving Tuesday can make a significant difference by putting a new book into the hands of a DC student. $60 covers the cost of an hour of writing instruction in a DC classroom, and $300 helps us honor the writers who give their time to our education programs.

As an added incentive, we’re offering supporters a few special thank you gifts: signed copies of last year’s PEN/Faulkner Award finalists!

  • Call Me Zebra, by Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi, our PEN/Faulkner Award-winner
  • The Overstory, by Richard Powers
  • Love War Stories, by Ivelisse Rodriguez
  • Don’t Skip Out on Me, by Willy Vlautin
  • Tomb of the Unknown Racist, by Blanche McCrary Boyd

For a donation of $100, you can select the book of your choice.* For $250, we’ll send you any three of those titles. And if you join our team and raise at least $450 for PEN/Faulkner, we’ll send you all five!

* Supplies are limited — there are only 30 copies of each title available! We’ll be sending around a form for you to select your top choices once the day is done.

Our mission is to celebrate literature and foster connections between readers and writers to enrich and inspire both individuals and communities. Thank you for helping us achieve that goal, and happy holiday!

Read the RISE UP! Essays from PEN/Faulkner’s 31st Annual Gala

On Saturday, October 26th, PEN/Faulkner hosted its 31st annual Gala at the Katzen Center for the Arts. The theme for the evening was “RISE UP!” and 10 incredibly talented writers wrote three-minute essays and poems about what those words meant to them. We were very lucky to be joined by such powerful voices. Here’s what they had to say. You can read the essays below in the order in which they were presented, or go straight to your favorite author by clicking on their name: Nell Freudenberger, Matt Klam, Alice McDermott, Francine Prose, José Rodríguez, Queenal Ayaba, Rachel Louise Snyder, Nafissa Thompson-Spires, Katrina Tracy, and Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi.

Nell Freudenberger

A few weeks ago, the New York Public Library asked me to speak to the conservators, a group of generous donors, about my recent novel.  I was very grateful for the invitation–partly because I love the library, and partly because writing fiction entails spending a lot of time alone at a desk doubting yourself.  For that reason, outside affirmation from institutions–like the incredible PEN/Faulkner Foundation that we’re celebrating tonight–is hugely meaningful for writers.

My novel is about a white physicist named Helen whose best friend, a black screenwriter named Charlie, has recently died.  When I went on book tour to promote it, I expected questions about race.  I worried that the reviews would take me to task for getting race, and racism, wrong.  When I confided this worry to my sister, she said, “You’re white, the book has black characters, we live in a structurally racist society, you’re racist, I’m racist, we’re all racist, and of course there are going to be reviews like that.” She is a lawyer, and she tends to put things bluntly.

But the thing was, the reviews barely mentioned race.  Almost none of the questions I got on tour touched on that subject, and when they did, they often lumped it together with gender, as if it was one, vaguely dirty word—why did you decide to write about raceandgender in this book?  And so I wasn’t prepared for the conservators, a group of white people who seemed to want to talk about race to the exclusion of everything else.  Specifically, several people wanted to know why “it was necessary” for Charlie to be black, what function it served in the plot.

To answer that question, I talked about Claudia Rankine’s advice for white authors, her suggestion that we could help chip away at the “white is normal” problem in fiction.  I mentioned Jess Row’s recent book “White Flights,” which examines a turning away from the subject of race among white authors–what he calls “wishful thinking as a way of making art.”  Some young library staff members jumped into the discussion to help question the idea that characters begin in whiteness, and only change their pigmentation according to the demands of narrative.

As we were talking, one of the current library fellows, a black American fiction writer, came out of his office and left the room, without giving our group a second glance.  Probably he hadn’t heard us from inside his office; probably we were just a babble of voices, and he was still in that pleasant foggy state that exists between writing or reading and the rest of the world.  That’s the place most writers would like to be most of the time.  Who doesn’t prefer doing the work to sitting around talking about it?

And so, I think that ‘Rise Up’ might have different meanings depending on who you are.  It certainly was that novelist’s prerogative to rise up out of his pneumatic desk chair and go home, or go out for a drink with friends after work, while I sat with the conservators, trying to explore why a character can be black without the plot hinging on her identity.  I say this not to disparage any of those library donors who spoke up, or to presume what the quiet ones were thinking.  The point is that this might be the job of the white writer now: a job that many of us, myself included, have taken too long to embrace, danced around too delicately.  For us, rising up might really mean sitting down, both in the figurative sense of making room for everyone else, and the literal one, of sitting in rooms with our parents and grandparents, talking out the problems we inherited and the ones we have made ourselves.

Thank you.

Matt Klam

600 years ago, in 1419, a priest led his congregation in protest through the streets of Prague but things got out of hand and they stormed the town hall and took the judge, the mayor, and several councilmen and threw them out a window where they fell to their deaths. When the King heard the news he died of shock. 80 years later, in the second ‘Defenestration of Prague’ (‘defenestration’ means to throw someone out a window) another mayor was tossed out a window, and 150 years after that  two regents and a secretary were defenestrated  — they fell 70 feet into a pile of manure and survived. This past July, I was at a writing conference and these incidents were mentioned in my workshop. All summer, I’d been in a panicky state of mind, and July was the hottest month every recorded, I’d been freaking out about mass extinction, burning rainforests, melting tundra, and the people in charge making it worse — and I was trying to keep it all inside because I felt angry and hopeless, and for the rest of that day I thought about who I’d throw out a window, reminding myself to clear the area below of manure.

That night — I was sitting on a bench eating ice cream, chatting with a poet friend who was also teaching a that conference. We discussed summer travels, writers we both knew who won awards they didn’t deserve, her incredible sex life because she’s young and single, then bumbled into an analysis of the psyche of a certain malignant, self-absorbed, shameless narcissist who’s been really tapping the patience of the universe lately — and fell silent. We were afraid. Hoping to lighten the mood, I tossed off one of those questions I sometimes use on friends. “If you could do something that you don’t do because it’s bad for you — but you could do it without any repercussions,” I asked, “what would you do?” I thought she’d say drink vodka for breakfast or fly to Spain. She looked at her ice cream and said, “I guess I’d kill a bunch of people.” Please note: this woman, this poet, has a big, boyish laugh, and has posed at least once for a publicity shot in a field of flowers. Her poems are personal strategies to understand American violence. It’s not exactly news that people are angry, but I was relieved to hear her articulate what I’d been feeling. I think this is what my favorite writers do — say what we can’t admit. And this is the challenge of our moment: Letting in the world, wishing we didn’t, but if we don’t we’re all alone. Then I told her how they used to handle it in Prague, and we made a list. And by honoring the feelings, not the impulses to action but the rage, fear, shame, and exhaustion behind those circling thoughts – at least for a moment then –  I felt hope.

Alice McDermott

And then there’s this: I’m 5’2”.  I know from long experience that if everybody rises up, I’m not going to see a thing.  Just backs and backsides.

There’s a metaphor here, somewhere.

So I’m at one of those massive book festivals and I slip into the audience for a panel discussion by three young fiction writers.  Ten minutes in, one of them declares from the stage, “I’m sick of novels about someone’s Irish grandmother.”

I sink down in my seat.

Another agrees, saying we’ve had too many immigration stories from white Europeans.

I sink further.

The third contends that the publishing world should declare a moratorium on such stories, make way for new voices, for the immigration experiences not yet described.

When the panel is over, I move toward the door, grateful that I’ve never been the kind of writer people recognize.  But a woman stops me.  We look somewhat alike, that is, there’s Irish in her DNA.  “I thought you’d get up at the q&a,” she says.  “I thought you’d tell them that all stories are valuable.”

I apologize, but argue for the novelists’ youth, their energy, their determination to be heard.

I can see I disappoint her. “Everybody needs to be heard, “ she insists.

I agree wholeheartedly.  “But maybe not all at once,” I want to add.

Some months later, a reader sends me a review of a novel about Irish Americans in which the reviewer admits that a summary of the plot sounds “as fresh as a pint of last week’s Guinness.”

The reader asks me: Can you imagine the same kind of joke being made about the literature of any other nationality?  By way of example, he offers some substitute words, offensive food slurs directed at other ethnicities.  He urges me to write to the reviewer. Be aggrieved for us, he says.  We have our grievances, too.  Stand up for the Irish.

Similar entreaties arrive from Catholic readers who are tired of hearing their faith so easily maligned.  Speak up for us, they say.  I begin to wonder if I’m being asked to rise up, or to shout down.

My father, the orphaned child of Irish immigrants – I know, you’ve heard the story –  was full of admiration for the Jewish kids in his New York neighborhood.  Because they were the only other kids he ever saw in the library.   Because they were always studying.  The word Yeshiva, he liked to point out, means to sit.

“Before you shoot your mouth off,” he would tell us, “go sit in the library.”

Sitting is out of favor these days, I know.  Although it is the assumed position of all of us who write, or read.  And it’s a lovely verb: to sit, to occupy an official seat, to preside, to be still, to remain, to be fixed or settled.  It provides the root for such words as: assiduous – to sit down to.  Or dissent – to sit apart.  Or séance – a sitting session meant to evoke spirits.  And even – in the spirit of evoking spirits both liquid and ethereal – that wonderful word out of Irish folklore: banshee.

I’m reaching for a metaphor here, but it seems a simple proposition, one especially relevant to the cacophony of our aggrieved, combative times:  there is wisdom in knowing when to rise up; there is wisdom, too, in knowing when to sit down.

Francine Prose

Every year, in my literature class at Bard college I try to teach at least one story or poem by a South American or Eastern European writer, Roberto Bolano, Mariana Enriquez, Zbigniew Herbert, Nadezdha Mandelstam, a story or poem in which authoritarianism is in the background or foreground, a story or poem that reminds my students how rapidly a society can change—overnight, in some cases—from a democracy to a dictatorship.  I don’t know why it seems so important to make them think about  the fragility of democracy. Forewarned is forearmed, I used to think, or anyway something like that.

Always I used to say: we’re not there yet. One difference is: we’re not used to living in a  society in which people just disappear. I tell them about the mothers standing, day after day, in the plaza in Santiago, Chile, with the photos of their children, missing for years, then decades. Or about the 43 students who disappeared in one night, only recently, in the Mexican state of Guerrero. The Argentine citizens who were dropped from helicopters over the sea, the Russians who vanished into the Gulag.

We’re not there yet, I’d say.

This summer, newspapers ran stories about 2000 children who had been separated from their parents at the US Mexican border and were unaccounted for. Have they disappeared? The stories about them have disappeared. And the children, the adults  who languish in cages, in cells, sleeping on cement floors, covered by Mylar blankets. Have they disappeared? Do their families know where they are? Does anyone?

So we’re there now. It’s happening now, as we eat our delicious diners and gather to chat with our friends. It’s happening now, in our country, right now. Concentration camps. Our democracy is in danger.

Rise up.

José Antonio Rodríguez

On Standing Before the Repurposed Warehouse in My Hometown

I would really like for the frog
To make an appearance. Its diminutive body
Slick with that permeable skin
Unexpectedly resting on the road,
Surely finding its way to the grassy patch
By the enormous warehouse.
Having just rained, the inch-long frog
Has come alive, rare and resurrected
From the sun-scorched earth of McAllen, Texas.
See, its presence reminds the speaker
Of his own childhood summers away from this town
All the way up in the Texas panhandle
With its onion fields, the pre-dawn shift, the burlap sacks,
The metal shears, and the frogs (entire communities
It seemed) unstoppable across the dirt rows.
Yes, this frog on the road should make an appearance
As some kind of symbol by the warehouse,
That cross-less compound down the street
From the speaker’s old middle school.
The galvanized steel walls,
The poles with the recognizable flags,
The front doors with the signs “No smoking within 10 feet of this entrance” and “No photography”
On the glass, tinted dark of course,
Chain link fence with privacy slats
Tall around the rest of the structure,
And the corner entrance with the motorized sliding gate
For the buses with the metal-barred windows,
Also tinted,
And the undocumented children silent in them.

I should warn you, their brown-eyed stare could break you.
Does it matter whether members of Congress
Have already shown up to see for themselves?
Let us say this fact is nonessential,
That it draws attention away from the purpose
And the speaker with his own Mexican memories
Of hunger and futile prayers. We must bring this back
To the poem’s charge –their foil wrappers,
Their recorded cries and coughs, their play pretend
Of calling each other hermano, hermana, madre –
Inadequate attempt against erasure –
Their blinding nights, their uniformed overseers,
Their bloodshot eyes.

Say we name every part of them, every last one,
That we might reconstitute something
Of who they were before this –
The long walk, the despair,
The sacking of their country’s mines –
Might it be like touching the hand of God?

And if we called out their names
All the ones dead and dying
Felipe Gomez Alonso
Carlos Gregorio Hernandez Vasquez
Jakelin Caal Maquin
Mariee Juarez
Josue Ramirez Vasquez
Darlyn Valle
Juan De Leon Gutierrez [1]
Could they then rise up from the concrete floor,
Past the cages, the eye-burning ceiling lights,
Past the flags, the reach of the city’s thrum,
Until they turned to see it all
And remembered the beauty they once were?

[1] Names taken from article “Why are migrant children dying in US custody?” by Nicole Acevedo, 5/29/2019, nbcnews.com

Queenal Ayaba

The Lion Anger Has Resurrected 

My homeland lived a happy life for years until 2016 after I left. I was just 14 when I left Cameroon to come to the United States. A few months after my departure to the U.S., teachers and lawyers from the English-speaking regions of Cameroon decided to lead a strike because they had been marginalized for many years. I thought everything would be okay after the strike, but I had no idea that it was the beginning of a war.

The sorrow that built up in me started to melt. Each day, my friends from Cameroon sent me video clips about people being killed like birds being hunted.

You could see the veins and skeletons of people laying on the floor; some had deep holes in their heads to the point that you could see the eyes staring at you like they wanted revenge. The water that had been held deep in my eyes started pouring out and dripping on the ground like stormy rain.

“Make we na come oh.”

“Ma house di burn.”

“They don finish me oh. Ma pickin don die. They don burn my house.”

“Watti I don do?” said a man in one of the videos sent to me by my friend.

Sometimes seeing children witnessing their parents being killed, and some losing their homes, terrified the anger in me. Communities were completely vacated to the point where you could only smell the dust of innocent dead souls crying for revenge.

Each day, many family members lost their young boys or men because the men of our land were mostly targeted by the French Cameroon armies. A huge percentage of the population, especially women and children, suffered from starvation, lack of water, and no access to healthcare.

Sometimes, armed men attacked schools in the English regions, and one week wounded more than 20 people, including children. Throughout the torture that I faced seeing the spirits of the innocent dead, weeping and crying, I knew deep in me that there was a cheetah who wanted to rise up and make a change, but I did not know how. The ashes that held together firmly in the fire started flaking off.

“Where is the flame that is burning in me,” I said. I could not bear to see more houses burning and people fleeing from their homes and villages.

The rage in me arose when I saw women being raped and executed randomly.

Only a few people each day had the chance to flee and find shelter in the jungle despite the wild animals that live there. I knew at this point that holding back my pain would not be a solution. As an Ambazonia, the sorrow in me already evaporated. I could not stand all the tears from my lost ones and their voices speaking to me. Les yeux étaient rouges comme du feu.

As an English Cameroonian, I felt like I was spiritually with those in Cameroon that were standing up for their freedom with confidence. No sitting back, for the power in us was like a lion that was ready to unceasingly killed many gazelles, hares, and other animals. We were never bound to join up with the French Cameroon as one community. For the ancestors of the past signed a treaty with them guaranteeing the respect of our cultural identity.

I felt like the tears of the dead babies that had been killed by the French armies and that started haunting the armies; for they cry deeply in the army’s ears day and night and haunt them in spirit. We have become each and everyone’s leader, protesting for our freedom, and fighting for what belongs to us, including our land and lives. We cannot let troops of the French armies escalate on our backs and arrest all our main important leaders.

For the young men of our land called the Amba boys — the Red Dragons — and Tigers have risen up to defend us Ambazonians. They have built up an army with rockets on their backs and sprung up, ready to fight for the independence of us Ambazonians.

Each day in the videos, I hear gunshots from the Amba boys back and forth with the armies on the other side, while people close their doors and windows, looking for a safe spot under their beds.

Rachel Louise Snyder

Rise Up: Cambodia

The third floor of the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum is closed to the public. Crude cells cobbled from splintering wood or brick make up the first two floors, along with a small museum of photos and information about the 1975-79 genocide. Once, there was a map of Cambodia from human skulls on the wall, but the map has been moved, to the outskirts of the city onto the most well-known killing field. I say well-known because there are many killing fields. There are killing fields in far reaches of the countryside that are only partially cleared. When I lived around the corner from Tuol Sleng, there was no public explanation for why the top floor was closed, but my neighbors needed no explanation. The third floor, they said, was thick with ghosts.

One day, I paid the entry fee, and snuck up to the third floor. It was a spontaneous decision. There were crumpled up receipts, palm fronds and dead leaves from flame trees and enormous dust balls and crushed cans of Beer Lao. A television antenna, yellow plastic bags, a smattering of straws. As on the other floors, the ochre and white tile bore dark stains that some say is blood, but after so many decades is more likely mold. The shutters cracked the bright sun into lattice on the floor.

The neighbors laughed when I told them I’d gone to the third floor of Tuol Sleng and then they asked why? Why would I do such a thing? They told me I had disrupted the ghosts. There was no telling what might happen now.

Cambodians, by and large, do not fear ghosts. Rather, ghosts are like trees: ubiquitous, necessary and even urgent for sustained life. But they can also grow gnarled, interfering with nature in obstinate ways.

By the time I’d lived in Cambodia for a year or two, I grew used to the busloads of Australian and Chinese tourists who emerged from Tuol Sleng in stunned silence. After five pm, though, when Tuol Sleng-the-genocide-museum closed, Tuol Sleng-the-night-parking-garage opened. For two thousand riel, or fifty cents, we could park our cars there so long as they were gone by morning. Our neighbors kept Camrys and Land Rovers there. We’d knock at the gate, and guards would roll out of their hammocks to direct us by flashlight. A television hooked up to a car battery entertained them with soccer late into the night.

The ghosts were there, I knew, but quiet, understanding perhaps that the necessary and urgent utilitarian need of a new generation can summon its own kind of reclamation.

Nafissa Thompson-Spires

I can’t remember the first time I got in trouble for something I said, but it was likely a pre-language facial expression, a half-smile misinterpreted as a frown, or a look in my eyes that suggested disrespect. In preschool, I was paddled for talking during naptime at a private school that still used corporal punishment. Saying the wrong thing got me booted from kindergarten, literally less than a week into the new school year, when I lamented that the teacher did not give us the homework I had come to expect at my Montessory-style preschool. That teacher held a meeting with my parents and the principal to have me tested (read: removed from her class) and pawned off on the first-grade teacher.

But precocious, inquisitive five-year-olds were not welcome in first grade either, which came with the homework I requested but also a mousy teacher’s aid with a Trunchbull knack for embarrassing children. If you spoke while Ms. Ivey was speaking or if you said anything she didn’t want you to say—and the broad ambiguity of the latter category posed the issue for me—she punished you by forcing you to wear a giant red mouth, mimeographed, cut out, and carefully laminated, complete with elastic red band to secure the mask over your mouth and ears.

Never mind how it would look for a white teacher to make the handful of black kids in our grade wear the oversized overly red lips we grew up seeing on the random cartoon coons they forgot to censor from our Bugs Bunny and Tom and Jerry reruns. This teacher believed in colorblindness and equal-opportunity law enforcement. She had washed her own white son’s mouth out with liquid bathroom soap at school when he used a PG curse word, so I—black, unrelated to her, and already labeled a problem, smart but a problem—was certain to end up wearing those red lips. My previous goals of beating everybody at everything gave way to a new one: avoiding being forced to wear the mask riddled with the germ strains of a dozen other six-year-olds. Somehow I dodged wearing the lips while also placing in the speech competition that year.

But later, at a different Christian school, I was not so successful. There, I learned a host of things could get one—me—sent to the principal’s office: using, for instance, the words or “weenie” or “racist.” I received nearly the same punishment for chewing gum outside of the classroom as a white student did for wearing blackface on Halloween. And on the books, his official crime was mooning someone, not the brown face paint he wore while pulling down his pants. In high school, when I reported a student for calling one of the only black girls on our campus a racial slur, the principal called me in not to thank me for bravely coming forward but to explain that black people, too, could be racist. I don’t believe Brian, the student who used the slur was ever punished. And I know my school did nothing to the group of nerdy boys and girls I had known since elementary school, who, around the time of Columbine, suddenly started wearing black trench coats and chanting “white power.”

But I learned a valuable lesson from those red lips and the cowardly, misguided chastisement of the administrators in my life. I learned not to stifle, as these institutions wanted me to do, but instead that there was no amount of stifling that would ever make me acceptable, and thus, I could become louder, angrier, scarier, more problematic, and still be treated the exact same way as I was when I tried to be respectable, to shrink myself down, to avoid humiliation or reprimand. What I’m trying to say is that I ended up wearing those big red lips no matter what I did. Respectability, I intuited—though I have to frequently recall this lesson—doesn’t protect you from the insidiousness of the white gaze or the inherent all-encompassing violence of white supremacy.

As more and more tenured academics, university administrators, and journalists are losing their jobs for stating facts about racism, our presidency, queerphobia, and Islamaphobia, the threats of retribution are only intensifying. Students a few weeks ago burned the books of Jenine Capo Crucet. The message, everywhere, is clear: you will be humiliated for telling the truth; you will be punished. But more than ever is the time to speak up, to shake off the choking fear.

In addition to teaching at a university, where race, racism, and the importance of ethical writing are foundational to my pedagogy, I now get paid to visit campuses, often predominantly white, and talk about these issues. (In other words, I get paid, well, to upset racists). And nothing could have prepared me more for the hostile eyes I sometimes encounter on these campuses, for the people who play devil’s advocate with the facts of my humanity during Q&A sessions, than that red laminated lip mask. The threat of that mask freed me, started to unbutton me, even at the age of five, from my starched childhood. It unmoored, year by year, my deep fear of disapproval. It taught me that being pointed and laughed at is a terrible feeling, indeed, but a worse one is knowing exactly what is right and choosing not to act for fear. I reject, then, both the discursively violent mask and its more perfidious performative power, the self-subjugation of silence. And doing so, I hope, has and will make all the difference.

Katrina Tracy

Sometimes You Stick Out 

As a Russian-American, I go to Russia every other year to see family, and with every passing year, I feel more disconnected. Maybe it’s because I don’t speak perfect Russian, or maybe because my brother speaks even worse Russian than I do. Perhaps it’s because of the political tension that has been between our two countries for decades, now instigated by conspiracies and political comments.

We go to Serpukhov, a place that sees little foreigners. It recently got inducted into the golden ring, the name of cities that have special tours, this year. Everyone just assumes everyone is from around there, or at least from Russia.

My brother and I were swinging on the swings. My shirt stuck to my back, the sky was blue, with fluffy clouds overhead. A cloud passed, throwing us into shade. A boy and a girl came to the playground. The boy was tapping away at a phone. The girl occupied herself with the seesaw.

After a while we did the usual introductions, and maybe because of our small accents and stumbles, they asked us where we were from.

It felt like I was walking around with a sign on my forehead that read, “American.”

Maybe I could lie and say I’m from Kyrgyzstan–technically true, my mother grew up there–but I didn’t know any Kyrgyz and what if they asked? So after a second of deliberation, I reluctantly said it.

“I’m from America.” My brother liked the attention they gave us then, their faces had a look of almost-masked shock, changing into a calculating look. Like, “What questions do you think we can get away with?” I gritted my teeth and hoped my brother didn’t say anything silly.

“What type of car do you have?” The boy started.

“A Honda.” If I had met someone from a country I had never been to, I would ask more interesting questions, like about the differences in weather, or what language is spoken.

“Hmmm, well I guess that’s a respectable car.” He peered at me disapprovingly, as if saying, do better. “What car does your mom drive?”

“We only have one car.” I said. Staring at me in shock, he swiftly changed to another topic.

“Who is cooler, Obama or Putin?” Honestly, I can’t remember what I answered. I wanted to fit in, so I struggled with the question.

Either way, he wouldn’t believe me. All he would remember from that exchange was that we were Americans. I hated it. All I wanted was to be “normal.” There, in Russia, I will always be the odd one out.

“Anton!” I called my brother. “We have to get home, sorry.” I told him. He started to protest, but I took him by the arm, leading him away from their piercing eyes, looking at me like I was an elaborate vase on display. But they weren’t looking at how intricate and colorful the vase was. They were looking at the price tag.

Hurrying into the apartment I quickly shut the door behind us. My grandmother’s apartment was small, so I got to the window quickly.

Stealing glances, I saw they were still there. I would go outside to play only when they were gone.

I flopped onto the couch. Most kids I had met in Russia were perfectly nice. They would let it drop after I would explain, “We are visiting our grandmother.” I would tell my brother, “Don’t say anything about where we are from, let me talk if they ask.”

When we go to Moscow or other cities, it isn’t strange to see someone who isn’t Russian. But every so often, a person will stare at you, or come up to you and tell you that they have never met an American before. That hurts.

I don’t want to be singled out like that. Can’t people understand I’m just like them?

Later, I found myself thinking about those kids, and what they had said. In America, I never shy away from the fact that I’m Russian. Why should this be any different? I was tired of evading questions.

When I go back again, I will rise up. I am American. But no less Russian. I hope I can summon the courage not to hide. I won’t tell everyone, shouting it around the street, but if someone asks, I won’t tell a half-truth like I have before. I am proud, and I hope I can teach my brother to rise up and be proud, too.

Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi

We are unable to post Azareen’s piece at this time as it is still in the publication process. Stay tuned for more information!

Don’t Miss Our First Literary Conversation of the Season!

PEN/Faulkner’s first Literary Conversation will focus on the role of graphic novels and comics in today’s world of visual media. Tickets on sale now!

What happens when the visual arts meet the literary arts? For years, comic books and cartoons have dominated the realm of visual storytelling in print. Now, with the rise of the graphic novel, the potent, vivid immediacy of illustrations is being united with long form prose to redefine 21st century literature. With their incredible diversity of style, graphic novels are telling stories across genres, including memoir, historical fiction, and young adult fiction. Join the PEN/Faulkner Foundation for an evening of conversation with some of the biggest names in graphic novels, as they talk about artistic collaborations and the evolution of storytelling in a new era.


Ebony Flowers
Edgardo Miranda-Rodriguez
Gene Luen Yang
Scott McCloud (Moderator)

Buy your tickets today!

Tickets Now on Sale for PEN/Faulkner’s Annual Gala!

The PEN/Faulkner Foundation’s Chair, Co-Chairs, Honorary Co-Chairs, Benefit Committee, and Board of Directors request the pleasure of your company at


Saturday, October 26, 2019
Katzen Arts Center, American University
4400 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, DC

6:30 pm • Cocktails
7:30 pm • RISE UP! Readings and Dinner Program

Cocktail attire • Complimentary garage parking

Nell Freudenberger
Matt Klam
Alice McDermott
Francine Prose
José A. Rodriguez
Rachel Louise Snyder
Nafissa Thompson-Spires
Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi

& two award-winning DC student writers

Calvin Trillin, back by popular demand

Now in its 31st year, the PEN/Faulkner Foundation’s Annual Gala is a unique evening that celebrates important voices in contemporary American literature and supports arts education in our city’s schools. Those who attend will begin their evening with a cocktail hour, followed by a formal seated dinner in the Rotunda of the Katzen Arts Center. The night will feature readings of original pieces written especially for the occasion by some of the most highly acclaimed authors in the literary world. Our authors will also be joined on stage by Katrina Tracy and Queenal Ayaba, the DC students who won our Writers in Schools program’s city-wide essay contest. All who take the stage will speak in their own words on this year’s theme: “Rise Up!”
Join Us—Get Your Tickets Now!

Meet Our 2019 Annual Gala Committee

GALA CHAIR: Willee Lewis

CO-CHAIRS: Lisa Brennan Barry • William Dunlap • Julie Arthur Garcia • Dale LeFebvre • Katherine Field Stephen • Annie Simonian Totah • Jayne Visser

HONORARY CO-CHAIRS: Senator Patrick Leahy Senator Lisa Murkowski

HONORARY BENEFIT COMMITTEE: Senator Roy Blunt Representative G.K. Butterfield Representative Debbie Dingell Senator Amy Klobuchar Representative John LewisSenator Ed Markey Representative Jackie Speier Senator Christopher Van Hollen Senator Mark Warner

Cynthia Howar and Susan Pillsbury, Co-Hosts

Anonymous • Shalom & Beth Baranes • Wendy Benchley & John Jeppson • Lee & Wayne Berman • Afsaneh and Michael Beschloss • BP America • Cathy Brentzel • Ludmila and Conrad Cafritz • Byron Carlock • Debbie Driesman & Frank Islam • Molly Elkin & Ivan Wasserman • Shannon Fairbanks & Thor Halvorson • Rhona & Don Friedman • James Gale • Elizabeth & Michael Galvin • Jon Garcia • Renee & Stephen Gardner • Hank & Carol Brown Goldberg • Denise Grant & Frank Raines • Beverly & Stuart Halpert • The Honorable Jane Harman • Mimi & Richard Houstoun • Kay Kendall & Jack Davies • Dale LeFebvre • Finlay Lewis • Tracy & Greg McGillivary • Virginia Newmyer & Philip F. Zeidman • The Paley Family • Michael Pillsbury • Politics & Prose • Robert & Margie Shanks • Eileen Shields-West & Robin West • Nancy & Simon Sidamon-Eristoff • Douglas & Gabriela Smith • Andrew Stephen • Elizabeth & George Stevens, Jr. • Robert A. Stewart/JBG Smith • Lucretia Dewey Tanner

H.G. Carrillo, Chair • Tracy McGillivary, President

Louis Bayard • Jackson R. Bryer • Conrad Cafritz • Susan Coll • Molly Elkin • Renée K. Gardner • Ginny Grenham • Mary Haft • Mimi Houstoun • Joanne Leedom-Ackerman • Dale LeFebvre • Tony Lewis, Jr. • Willee Lewis • Richard McCann • Dr. Malcolm O’Hagan • Frazier O’Leary • Lisa Page • Dolen Perkins-Valdez • Anas “Andy” Shallal • Katherine Field Stephen • Deborah Tannen

Youth Essay Contest Winners and Runners-up!

PEN/Faulkner is excited to announce the winners and runners-up for this year’s Youth Essay Contest! Writers were asked to submit personal essays on the theme of “Rise Up.” Each of the winners and runners-up will receive a monetary prize, and the two winners will read on stage alongside authors Alice McDermott, Francine Prose, Nafissa Thompson-Spires, and Rachel Louise Synder, among others, at our 31st Annual Gala held at the Katzen Center on Saturday, October 26.

We’re proud of all the young writers who submitted to the contest. Find out more about the annual PEN/Faulkner Youth Essay Contest and annual Gala.

Queenal Ayaba, Capital City Public Charter School
“The Lion Anger Has Resurrected”

Each day, my friends from Cameroon sent me video clips about people being killed like birds being hunted. You could see the veins and skeletons of people laying on the floor; some had deep holes in their heads to the point that you could see the eyes staring at you like they wanted revenge. The water that had been held deep in my eyes started pouring out and dripping on the ground like stormy rain.

“Make we na come oh.”

“Ma house di burn.”

“ They don finish me oh. Ma pickin don die. They don burn my house.”

“Watti I don do?” said a man in one of the videos sent to me by my friend.

Throughout the torture that I faced seeing the spirits of the innocent death weeping and crying, I knew deep in me that there was cheetah who wanted to rise up and make a change, but I did not know how. The ashes that held together firmly in the fire started flaking off.

“Where is the flame that is burning in me,” I said. I could not bear to see more houses burning and people fleeing from their homes and villages.

Katrina Tracy, Hardy Middle School
“Sometimes Your Stick Out”

It felt like I was walking around with a sign on my forehead that read, “American.” Maybe I could lie and say I’m from Kyrgyzstan — technically true, my mother grew up there — but I didn’t know any Kyrgyz, and what if they asked? So after a second of deliberation, I reluctantly said it.

“I’m from America.” My brother liked the attention they gave us then, their faces had a look of almost-masked shock, changing into a calculating look. Like, “What questions do you think we can get away with?” I gritted my teeth, hoping my brother didn’t say anything silly.

“What type of car do you have?” The boy started.

“A Honda.” If I had met someone from a country I had never been to, I would ask more interesting questions, like the food, or what their favorite color was.

“Hmmm, well I guess that’s a respectable car.” He peered at me disapprovingly, as if saying, do better.

Sacha Gregoire, Hardy Middle School
“My Greatest Fear”

We arrived at the swing. It looked even more monstrous up close. There were thin wires snaking up, with rusty brown chains around them leading up to the top. The top seemed hundreds of feet up, putting the people on it at the top of the world- and then the wires would let go of the swing, which left the victims on the swing swooping downwards, their lives being risked every second. Despite me insisting that I was not going on, the chaperone had made me put on the safety equipment, saying that I might change my mind at the last second. Group by group, people went on the swing, but I did not have the heart to look at them—I looked the opposite direction and closed my eyes for good measure. I could hear the screams of my classmates. I was sure an accident had happened, that someone had died. I turned around. The last group was going onto the swing. They were a group of two—Daniel and Morgan.

“Hey!” the park worker said. “The swing needs at least three people on it, we can’t send two people up! Who hasn’t gone?” Everyone started saying my name, some pointing at me.

Alexander Suggs, Capital City Public Charter School
“The Guardsmen”

As my great grandfather told me once, the winter far east along the Volga was always cold, especially back when he was young, way before I was even born. That was at the same time when he told me of the communist revolution he fought against, and how brother turned on brother, father on son.


In the year 1917, as my great grandfather described it, the communist visionary Vladimir Lenin was released from exile, allowed back into Russia by the people, who were growing sick and tired of the Tsar’s rule. Lenin turned the people against the Tsar who had long since abandoned the hope of his people,driving them into a war which was already costing the poor workers and soldiers more lives and money. Lenin and his supporters took up arms, forming a people’s army to overtake the one already existing in defense of the Tsar. One of the first to join the so-called “White Guard,” an anti-communist brigade, was my great grandfather, who had already completed service in the Ukraine against the Austrians.

Hastily, the White Guard set out. My grandfather and his friends marched to the edge of the Volga River to stop the revolutionary forces.

As they stood in wait, the snow fell upon them. “Like God himself had left us all to ourselves,” my great grandfather said. “The winter froze everything over. Rifles, boots, skin. Everything.”

Arianna Camacho-Mendez, Capital City Public Charter School
Sosina Gebremichael, Banneker High School
Arwen Gorham, McKinley Tech High School
Mikalah Scott, Cardozo Education Campus
Alexis Toro Juarez, McKinley Tech High School

Voices from PEN/Faulkner’s Interns

This summer, PEN/Faulkner had the privilege of being joined by three amazing interns: Jess Karan, Anna Hotard, and Olivia Guerrero. Before they left us, they each wrote essays inspired by their time in the organization. It’s our honor to share them with you.


Queerness is an often invisible identity: one that can’t be known just by looking at someone. It’s also one of many identities that’s been heavily excluded from the literary sphere, even though its present in every culture, generation, religion and ethnicity. When it has been celebrated in both history and literature, furthermore, the voices of white, wealthy, educated, male, and cisgender queer writers have been given the most attention. Many queer writers with different identities have flown under the radar and died without recognition.

In 2019 it’s not only crucial, but necessary to read diversely. Knowing how identity informs literature means seeking out writers whose identities might not match our own. Below are three writers, activists, and educators who deserve infinitely more credit than they were given while alive. It is my hope that by sharing them, I can help make sure that their names are repeated and remembered.

Nancy Cárdenas

Nancy Cárdenas was born in the town of Parras, in the Mexican state of Coahuila, in 1934. She described the town as having “one million trees, 20,000 people, and only one access road.” She studied at the Autonomous University of Mexico before moving to Yale University, where she studied staging, film, and theater. At twenty, she became a radio announcer and later became a stage actress. It was only in the 1960s that she began to write, publishing her first one-act play El cántaro seco (The Empty Pitcher) and working later as a journalist. She is considered to be the first publicly out lesbian in Mexico, upon revealing her sexuality at age thrity-nine on the TV show 24 horas, hosted by James Zabludovsky, during an interview. Her collection of poetry, Cuaderno de amor y desamor (Book of Love and Hate) deals with lesbian love and eroticism. She died of breast cancer in 1994 at the age of 59.

Carole LaFavor

Carole LaFavor was an Ojibwe novelist, activist, and nurse born in Minnesota in 1948. She was a member of the President’s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS from 1995-1997; was a founding member of Positively Native, an organization supporting indigenous people with HIV/AIDS; and was the author of two detective novels: Along the Journey River and Evil Dead Center. Amid large-scale protests about missing and murdered indigenous women, LaFavor spoke publicly about her sexual assault at the hands of two white men in the Minneapolis proceedings of the Pornography Civil Rights Hearings. She identified as both lesbian and two-spirit, an indigenous gender identity, and her novel Along the Journey River is, according to Kansas State University Professor Lisa Tatonetti, “arguably the first novel with an indigenous lesbian protagonist.”

Ifti Nasim

Ifti Nasim was born in Pakistan in 1946 and emigrated to the US to escape persecution for his sexuality in 1971. He was the fifth of seven children and describes himself as “the invisible child.” Upon moving to the US, he became a columnist, radio show host, and even a luxury car salesman—notably, he sold a Mercedes to Oprah Winfrey. However, he is known best for his poetry. His post-prolific collection, Narman (the Persian word for “hermaphrodite”) was published in Urdu in 1994 and was thought to be the first-ever expression of homosexual desire in the Urdu language. The book — along with his co-founding of Sangat/Chicago, a South Asian LGBT organization — awarded Nasim an induction into the Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame in 1996.

PUNCTUATED by Anna Hotard

There are three types of communication: verbal, nonverbal, and written. 

Verbal communication is straightforward, as it focuses on the meaning of the words spoken. Nonverbal communication refers to gestures, eye contact, tone of voice, and body language to relay intent and emotions. When those two types of communication meet on paper, it is easy for the latter to become lost in the mix. An author has to explicitly state the intent or meaning of a sentence or actively describe its nonverbal elements.

Or it is up to the fourteen official punctuation marks to carry the weight of interpretation? (Especially the three end-points.) Question marks and exclamation points have their assigned purposes, which leaves the majority of the work to the multifunctional period. Other techniques like bolding and capitalization are often used for emphasis. Similarly, italics have the added use of representing inner dialogue. Ellipses denote silence or a trailing off in dialogue, and dashes are used for more abrupt terminations of dialogue.

On paper — to indicate irony, certitude, sarcasm, doubt, adoration, rhetorical questions, and similar sentiments — an author has to specify tone through the use of verbs or adverbs. If it’s left up to interpretation, the reader could misinterpret the meaning of a statement, a scene, or even an entire novel. But what if punctuation could fill those voids and salvage the author’s intent in fewer words? 

Henry Denham, a English printer in the 1580s, created the “percontation point” to designate rhetorical questions with a reverse question mark ( ؟). It made appearances in predominantly hand-scribed works, since new type was expensive until the 17th century.

The call for a punctuation mark for irony has its roots starting in 1668 with John Wilkes, an English vicar and philosopher, who wrote a book calling for an increase in the taxonomy of letters and symbols for all notions of discourse. He proposed the inverted exclamation point (¡); however, Alcanter de Braham, a French poet whose real name was Marcel Bernhardt, proposed a whip-like glyph (pictured here) that resembled an extended reverse question mark that took off in 1899 and was used irregularly until 1960.

In the early 1920s, British politician Thomas Driberg proposed a new typeface called “the ironics,” with text slanted the opposite direction of italics. American journalist H.L. Mencken brought it to the US in the 1940s, and it appeared sporadically in newsprint until the 1980s. In 1966, Hervé Bavin, a well-known French author, created his own pointe d’ironie in 1966. It resembles the Greek Psi with an additional dot underneath. He also proposed five other punctuation marks in his book, Plumons l’oiseau: divertissement. A love point, a point of conviction, an authority point, a point of acclimation, and a point of doubt.

In a similar vein, as recently as 2007, the Collective Promotion for the Dutch Book or CPDB designed the ironieteken. The ironieteken was made available in a number of fonts. Its fall into disuse is attributed to someone pointing out that two ironietekens in a row slightly resembles the infamous Nazi SS insignia. More irony point propositions have appeared from 2001 to 2010, likely in an attempt to accommodate the ironic tone of digital age, but none have entered wide use.

Like the search for an irony punctuation mark, the hunt for a way to denote sarcasm also has a long and rocky history. In 1887, critic Ambrose Bierce presented a “snigger point” or “note of cachinnation” in his essay “For Brevity and Clarity.” This point resembled a grin and could be inserted in the middle of sentences.

In September of 1999, the Ethiopian sarcasm mark, called Temherte Slaq, was a topic of debate at the International Unicode Conference in San Jose, California. This mark, which appears as an inverted exclamation point at the end of a sentence (¡) has been used in editorial cartoons, children’s literature, and poetry for years. In 2001, American blogger Tara Liloia proposed using the underused tilde (~) to denote sarcasm as it would not require a new typeface to be created. It would also replace the winking face emoticon that was originally used [ ; ) ]. The tilde would be revitalized in 2006 when typographer Choz Cunningham would launch his website TheSnark.org and propose the tilde be merged with the period(.~).

In 2008, the search for sarcasm punctuation would enter infamy as American engineer Paul Sak and his son, Douglas J. Sak, would launch the SarcMark, which they would file for a trademark in 2010. You’ll have to look up the symbol yourself as it costs $1.99 to use for non-commercial purposes. Due to this, the SarcMark has been heavily blacklisted by several critics, both in print and online.  In 2011, Mencken’s reverse italics took on a new meaning with the launch of Sartalics.com, which took to Twitter and Reddit in an attempt to popularize its refurbished font for sarcasm.

Despite the long-term struggles of punctuation past, the invention of new marks has found triumph in its star child: the interrobang. In 1962, Martin K. Speckter, editor of Type Talks, grew frustrated with the choppy use of a question mark and exclamation mark for rhetorical questions, so he combined the two. His creation was called the exclamaquest or the interrobang, and he invited readers to submit their potential designs for this necessary addition. The original design was rendered by art director Jack Lipton, but it didn’t take off until 1967,  when graphic designer Richard Isbell included it in his typeface, Americana (‽).

The new punctuation point became a subject in the July 1967 edition of Time magazine. In the autumn of 1968, it was included in the Remington Rand Model 25 Electric typewriter. The interrobang fell out of disuse in the 1970s with the rise of the Linotype machine that supported only the traditional punctuation marks and symbols. However, it did not fade into obscurity, and thanks to a resurgence of its use on social media, it was included in the 10th edition of Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. In 2011, it was used in a legal ruling by Frank Easterbrook, Chief Judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit, and has since made steady appearances.

New words are entered into the dictionary every year, so why can’t we have new punctuation؟ Next time you sit down to write your next text message, term paper, social media status update, or novel, consider giving the period the break it deserves.

For more in-depth background on your favorite punctuation mark, check out Shady Characters: The Secret Life of Punctuation, Symbols, and Other Typographical Marks by Keith Houston or the Cecilia Watson’s Semicolon: The Past, Present, and Future of a Misunderstood Mark.

LITERARY EARWORMS by Olivia Guerrero

For Christmas last year, my father gave me a copy of the collected works of Emily Dickinson. As I was reading it on my commute to the PEN/Faulkner offices last week, and looking at the little black bird silhouettes that ink the top of each page, I suddenly recalled the first poem I ever had to memorize. And, somehow, I still remember every word.

‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers—

That perches in the soul—

And sings the tune without the words—

And never stops — at all—

It was sixth grade when I memorized that poem for class. We all chose poems and recited them, and my eleven-year-old literary research skills brought me to one of Dickinson’s most well-known poems. It’s only due to chance (and cadence) that I still remember it. But I started thinking— what else do I have tucked away, memorized by obsessive accident?

I think the two fragments of literature that come back to me most often are from The History of Love by Nicole Krauss and an e.e. cummings poem, respectively. The first:

For the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges, and absorbs the impact.

The second:

i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands.

These both pop into my head from time to time, when I am overwhelmed with some feeling, an unexpected pang or a sudden rush, loud joy or quiet love. They comfort me, they give me a way of capturing feeling when my own words fail me. I never intended to remember these lines; they just stuck, and keep sticking.

I asked around, to see if my family, friends, and coworkers had little bits of literature that resurface in their memories from time to time. (I am glad to say that not everyone is as sappy as me when it comes to unconscious memorization.) My mother, who walks the dog daily in the New Hampshire forests, responded to my question with Frost’s “Whose woods are these, I think I know…” and “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both.” A friend sent me these simple lines about words: “how very useless / they are not,” from Craig Arnold’s “Bird-Understander.” Others recalled the quotes included below, and I hope you will appreciate, as much as I do, that
these are the things that we think to ourselves at times when our own means of expression don’t quite cut it:

A light here required a shadow there.

— Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse


but tonight, Motown crackling in the hot twilight… my parents dance without ever touching…

but the story goes that my father would not open a stick of gum without saving half for my mother

the story goes my mother saved all those halves in a jar.”

— Safia Elhillo, “Alien Suite”

I never saw a wild thing

sorry for itself.

A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough

without ever having felt sorry for itself.

— D.H. Lawrence, “Self-Pity”


The art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

— Elizabeth Bishop, “One Art”


Heart to heart was never known,

mind with mind did never meet;

we are columns left alone

of a temple, once complete

— Christopher Pearse Cranch, “Enosis”


When you swear you still love me, the lights flicker.

— Megan Falley, “The Honest House”


there is a light somewhere.

it may not be much light but

it beats the darkness

— Charles Bukowski, “The Laughing Heart”


I’ll never get to Constantinople like this.

— Patrick Leigh Fermor, A Time of Gifts


I do not know which to prefer,

The beauty of inflections

Or the beauty of innuendos,

The blackbird whistling

Or just after… It was evening all afternoon.

It was snowing

And it was going to snow.

The blackbird sat

In the cedar-limbs.

— Wallace Stevens, “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird”


It is more sane and sunly

and more it cannot die

than all the sky which only

is higher than the sky

— e.e. cummings, “[love is more thicker than forget]”


On me your voice falls as they say love should,

like an enormous yes.

— Philip Larkin, “For Sidney Bechet”

Reader, I married him.

— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre


Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

— Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day”

Announcing the 2019 PEN/Malamud Award Winner!

WASHINGTON, DC—John Edgar Wideman has been selected as the winner of the 2019 PEN/Malamud Award for Excellence in the Short Story. Given since 1988 in honor of the late Bernard Malamud, the award recognizes a body of work that demonstrates excellence in the art of short fiction.

“John Edgar Wideman’s short stories render an internal and external world as vivid and intricate as Faulkner’s, as emotionally painful as Baldwin’s, and as unique as his own streets and stoops of Homewood,” wrote the PEN/Malamud Award selection committee. “Through complex, lyrical language, Wideman creates intimate portraits of the characters in his sprawling family, in his classrooms, in prison, and elsewhere, characters whose conflicts mirror the larger world as it struggles with history and identity. Wideman challenges readers to consider what defines, separates, and unites us.”

Wideman’s books include American HistoriesWriting to Save a LifePhiladelphia Fire, Brothers and Keepers, Fatheralong, Hoop Dreams, and Sent for You Yesterday. He is a MacArthur Fellow, has won the PEN/Faulkner Award twice, and has twice been a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and National Book Award. He divides his time between New York and France.

“I am very excited,” said Wideman. “I feel honored, lucky, and grateful to join such a distinguished group of writers.”

Previous winners include Sherman Alexie, John Barth, Richard Bausch, Anne Beattie, Saul Bellow, T. Coraghessan Boyle, Frederick Busch, Peter Ho Davies, Junot Diaz, Andre Dubus, Stuart Dybek, Deborah Eisenberg, Nathan Englander, Richard Ford, Nell Freudenberger, George Garrett, Amina Gautier, Barry Hannah, Adam Haslett, Amy Hempel, Edward P. Jones, Jhumpa Lahiri, Nam Le, Ursula K. Le Guin, Alistair MacLeod, William Maxwell, Maile Meloy, Lorrie Moore, Alice Munro, Joyce Carol Oates, Cynthia Ozick, Edith Pearlman, James Salter, George Saunders, Joan Silber, Elizabeth Spencer, Peter Taylor, John Updike, Eudora Welty, and Tobias Wolff.

“It’s thrilling to be able to add as accomplished an artist as John Edgar Wideman to the list of distinguished PEN/Malamud Award-winning writers,” said PEN/Faulkner Executive Director Gwydion Suilebhan. “His presence enriches the legacy of this award.”

About the art of the short story, Bernard Malamud said “I like packing a self or two into a few pages, predicting lifetimes. The drama is terse, happens faster, and is often outlandish. A short story is a way of indicating the complexity of life in a few pages, producing the surprise and effect of a profound knowledge in a short time.”

Wideman will be honored at the PEN/Malamud Award ceremony on December 6. Ticket information for the ceremony, which will be open to the public, will be available later this summer.